Lessons from a Mother

A friend recently wished me Happy Mother's Day and then added, "What is this, your 15th one?" And just like that, it dawned on me that I have celebrated Mother's Day 15 times now! Wow! What a blessing! 

As I reflect on this reality, it causes me to pause and think about the lessons I’ve learned as a mother. My heart is filled with gratitude to our great God who has given this world the gift of motherhood. Without Him, there would be no Mother’s Day!

Here are 15 lessons I’ve learned since stepping foot into the motherhood arena. Of course, there are many more, but time and the nice neat format of this blog do not afford me the luxury to linger. Without further ado, here they are.

Lesson 15:

It’s never too late to try again.

I learned this lesson once more just last night with my two oldest daughters. The day was hurried and chores had to be done. My kids didn’t do all that I asked or in the way I requested which put me in a mood. I fussed. I was irritated. I did not follow what Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 — “love is not irritable”. Instead, I was irritable and so much more. However, as the evening closed, I felt the tug of God’s conviction on my heart. I needed to repent to my children. I went to each of them, separately, and followed the very words I often repeat to them when they are in a mood. “Just because you’re in a bad mood doesn’t mean you get to take it out on everyone else”. I asked my daughters to forgive me. And just like that, I was graciously given another chance to try again.

Lesson 14:

It’s fun to be a mom.

I am a fun-loving person at my core! As such, I have carried this same spirit into how I mother. I make so many things into a game, a song, or simply an experience that can be long remembered after the moment has passed. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it can be easy to forget how fun it is to be a mom. I’ve learned that fun is what enhances our motherhood journey and makes the longest days go quickly.

Lesson 13:

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

The house. Your clothes. Your kids’ hair or shoes. Honestly, anything. The incessant perfectionist inside me dies a tiny death as each year of motherhood goes by. In the grand scheme of things, I am learning that I don’t have to be perfect and neither does motherhood. What matters most is not whether or not your house was “company ready” at all times, but rather if your kids feel the warmth of your presence, the realness of your love, and experience a good life inside your family’s four walls.

Lesson 12:

Your kids are changing and so will you.

This one is quite obvious, but it needs to be said. This week, my husband and I looked at old pictures and videos of our youngest (who is now 6!). We laughed and showed the kids the cute things she did. She has visibly changed the most out of all our kids from her baby years until now. But more than that, I’m learning that my kids have changed as they grow into the people they will become. What’s more, as they change, I’m changing too. I’m constantly learning and re-learning them. I’m studying their likes and interests. I’m thinking about new ways to stay connected to them and I am adjusting my expectations for who I am and who I want them to be.

Lesson 11:

Go slow because the years go fast…in other words, trust the little old lady in the supermarket, she was right!

She didn’t lie guys. I have encountered countless little old ladies in supermarkets, malls, airports, and everywhere in between. They have stopped to admire my babies, beaming bright with wrinkled smiles and creases gathered at their eyes as they gazed upon my sweet children. As they did, they were taken back to their days when they too, were in my same shoes, frazzled, sleep-deprived, and wrangling squirmy babes in strollers. They would gently admonish me, “Enjoy these days, they go fast.” I am now way past those baby days and can say without a doubt that these elders did not lie. In three years our oldest will leave our home to enter the world as a young woman. So hear my gentle admonishment, too. Hold your babies close. Get one more squeeze out of them. Go slow. The years go fast.

Lesson 10:

Motherhood will keep you before the throne of grace.

Lesson 15 already touched on this in another light, but I have seen firsthand how being a mother has caused me to constantly put my children before the Lord and ask Him for His mercy and grace over their lives. Late-night fevers, unexplained emotional struggles, academic challenges, defiance, and so much more have caused me to be an ever-present figure before God’s throne asking and pleading for His help. I cannot do this motherhood journey without His help and neither should you.

Lesson 9:

Your kids are not your friends, but they don’t have to be your enemies.

In a day in which the adage “You get respect when you give it” has been ignored, I offer to you that you get what you give. When you give your children your presence, your ear, your love, your integrity, your vulnerability, your repentance, your boundaries, your expectations, and even your discipline, they will love and respect you for it. They might not like every rule, they might even prefer you do some things differently, but they will appreciate and value your motherhood. If you do this, consistently, they might not be your friends, but they will not be your enemies.

Lesson 8:

It’s not about you.

It’s not about them either. So much of our mothering is focused on our children’s best interests while simultaneously retaining some bit of our sanity. But in the grand scheme of things, none of this truly matters. What matters most, for the Christian, is hearing our Lord one day say, “Well done, thy good and faithful servant”. Yes, we should all strive to be good mothers. Yes, we should make it our goal to ensure we give our children everything they need to succeed in this life. But when this life ends, what matters most is that which will last. That is, how we genuinely live out the gospel while making disciples of our children.

Lesson 7:

Our children need us to be truth-tellers.

When our kids are hurting, they need the truth. When they are looking for wisdom, they need us to tell them what they need to hear even if it is not what they want in that moment. I have had to challenge my children to look into the mirror to see the part they might have played in whatever troubles they were experiencing. I’ve told them the truth even if their dilemma wasn’t necessarily brought on by any fault of their own. Even how we shepherd our children when handling difficult situations needs to be directed with an eye toward their growth. It is from these truths that our children will cultivate the right character to become people who are healthy and whole individuals.

Lesson 6:

It’s good for our kids to see that moms can still have friends.

I don’t recall seeing my mom meet up with friends for lunch or go on girls’ trips. That’s not to say she didn’t. But my world of childhood was so separate from her adulthood, that I wouldn’t have even known it if it hit me on the head. Now, in my motherhood years, I am realizing how important it is for my children to see me experience and maintain friendships so they can learn how to do the same. I have been so bold as to share age-appropriate information with them about my friendship challenges and have candidly shared ways in which I have had to grow to be a better friend. It is through their experience of witnessing my friendships that they can learn how to be good friends themselves.

Lesson 5:

My kids are learning how to be devoted to God from watching my devotion to God.

Ever since my kids were little, I’ve always invited them into my fellowship with God. Yes, I do have quiet times and moments when I shut my door and ask them to allow me time to read and pray, alone. But the times in which they are welcome to sit beside me and just be around when I’m spending time with God far outnumber those instances. I want my kids to see my devotion to God so they can learn that it’s a lifelong journey of walking with Him. I want them to see how normal it is to talk to God. They need to know — He really is here with us, right now. There is a place for reverence and honor, but I don’t want them to think Bible reading and study have to be ritualistic. It should be a part of our everyday lives, which is why they have been able to see my devotion up close and personal.

Lesson 4:

Get you some God-fearing, praying sisters who are down for these motherhood streets!

I know the wording of this one is corny. But frankly, I don’t care! (lol) It’s true. I have made it a point to “find my tribe”, and to get my group who will not be afraid to put on our war clothes, together! These motherhood streets are NOT for the faint of heart! You need some non-judgemental folk who “get it”! You need people who don’t even have to hear the whole story for them to pray. Trust me, there’s not much else to say…just go ahead and get you some! You’ll thank me later. 😉

Lesson 3:

Motherhood is a mystery.

This one sounds weird, but hear me out. It still boggles my mind that God would entrust crazy ol’ me to not only bring life into this world but also raise it. I feel equally honored and sobered. This reality strengthens me and centers me to focus on His gospel mission while also seeking to leave a godly legacy through my kids. It doesn’t make sense some days why He has trusted me with this task. But that’s always His way. With my little, God can do much.

Lesson 2:

You were built for this.

This one is a continuation of the last. It might as well be “Lesson 3b”. I cannot tell you how many times as soon as I doubted myself as a mother, felt that mom guilt creep up, or believed one of the enemy’s lies, God reminded me that I was built for this. He might use my children, He might use my friends, my husband, or even a stranger. But either way, His message gets through to me nevertheless. He has given us everything we need for this motherhood journey. He chose you on purpose to be your children’s mother. You were built for this!

Lesson 1:

Motherhood is a season that will last for the rest of your life.

You think that seasons change, but the reality is they always remain the same. Every “season” of motherhood might look different from the last, but it will never end. You will still wonder who your children will become as they continue to grow. As the years go by, you will still be awed by the work of God’s hands on their lives. Though you will eventually no longer change diapers, kiss “boo-boos”, or tie shoes, you will never stop worrying (though the intensity might lessen depending on the day, lol), you will never stop hoping for the best for your children, you will never stop praying for your children, and you will never stop entrusting them to God. Motherhood is a high honor and a genuine blessing. He loves our children more than we ever could which is why He is such a good God in allowing us to experience this lifelong privilege.

What are some of the lessons you've learned along your motherhood journey? Please comment and share. I'd love to hear and learn more!

Happy Mother’s Day ladies!

Blessings,

Courtney